Sunday, February 27, 2011

Meaning of life: the search with another

"Life was alone, no name, no memory. It had hands, but no one to touch. It had a tongue, but no one to talk to. Life was one, and one was none. Then desire drew his bow. The arrow of desire split life down the middle, and life was two. When they caught sight of each other, they laughed. When they touched each other they laughed again."

Eduardo Galeano, Mirrors, p.1

With the separation came desire, the desire to be whole again.

Day was split from night, high from low, left from right, sweet from bitter, male from female.

My wife was my better half or at least my other half and with our divorce will I ever be whole again? She is in my heart at least. We had 9 children together and 13 grandchildren and a life we made together for 35 years.

Unhappiness occurs when we want our other half to be something they are not so that they can better complete us. They don't make us fell whole and we become resentful and bitter at their inability although we accuse them of unwillingness.

It, of course, is not their unwillingness, but their inability and we get angry with them when we should be angry at our own desire, our own longing, our own sense of inadequacy. Easy to blame the other for holding out on us, for not behaving, thinking, feeling to make us happy. We think, "You could if only you would and you won't because you are so perverse in holding out on me."

"I want a divorce", we shriek,  but we are divorced already in our own hearts feeling unfulfilled.

Much better to laugh. It all is a cosmic joke. No once else can complete us, they can only show us the way. A good marriage is a path to salvation, a path to enlightenment, a path to realization and actualization. Sometimes it seems to have become a barrier to salvation, enlightenment, actualization and then we need to be very careful.

Life has put this relationship in our path. Should we embrace it, honor it, invest in it,or will it lead us astray?

Only the individual can discern this in his/her search for truth and meaning. The UU question is: is this search free and responsible?

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