Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Learning what love is

"But still I know this is no sudden thing: my father spilling his guts to these German strangers. He has dragged himself, inches at a time, over to the cliff's edge and, head heavy, tumbled over. That is how it's done. A person doesn't run a mile to reach the edge and hurl himself into the void that ends in jagged rock below, for the simple reason that by the time you've reached the edge, you're winded, and you stop just shy to catch your breath and reconsider. The ones who take the plunge make camp just crawling the distance from the edge and every day inch closer, living in a place where tumbling over - be it suicide or saying all - is not a great departure from the routine." pp. 5-6

Linda McCullough Moore, "That's a Fact" in This Road Will Take Us Closer To The Moon.

The straw that broke the camel's back is down the road. It will only be a matter of time before it lands on your back. People will say you are over reacting, the object of your complaint trivial, only a little thing. You are silly to let such a trifle upset you so. But they have no idea. They haven't really been listening, and even if they did so what? They couldn't or wouldn't do anything about it anyway.

What has been going on has been unsaid. It is absent but implicit. And yet without the ears to hear, who hears, and without the eyes to see, who sees, and without the mind to think and understand, who really thinks and understands? Fear clouds the hearing, the vision, the understanding.

It takes awhile to get to the edge, and gratitude for life's gifts is absent having been ground down to believe one is not worthy. The only redemption is in forgiveness and generosity, then comes gratitude, but when one is on the edge a significant act is imminent whether it be death and mayhem or finally letting the cat out of the bag, calling a spade a spade, and taking the bull by the horns. Which will it be? No matter, cause afterwards, life will not be the same.

If a person knew that he/she had inherent worth and dignity, and even more importantly knew that other people who knew them, knew and thought that too, then things will go better, but without this knowledge, tragedy is more likely.

True religion is for those who know that every person has inherent worth and dignity and they not only bring people back from the edge, but provide hope and support in learning what Love is, taking life to a whole new level.

2 comments:

  1. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and can be an act of aggression as in "you'll be sorry when I 'm gone", or despair as in "nobody loves me" or one of ultimate control as in "if I can't have life the way I want it, I don't want it at all." The awareness of inherent worth and dignity is absent as ego concerns have pre-occupied the mind and the temptations of evil overwhelm bringing a person to the point of extinction.

    Suicide has been condemned by most cultures as a loss of faith and the covenantal reciprocity with ones brothers and sisters has been broken by violence. The extinguishment of the imminent connection with the divine is impossible, and yet the throwing in of the towel, the final self destroying leap over the edge is an act that, if nothing else, should help us look at religion more seriously and ask with an attitude of reverence "what is life for?"

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  2. It is written in A Course In Miracles:

    “Tolerance for pain may be high, but it is not without limit. Eventually everyone begins to recognize, however, dimly, that there must be a better way. As this recognition becomes more firmly established, it becomes a turning point.” ACIM, T-2.III.3.:5-7

    The ego's tolerance for pain can be exceedingly high, but as they say in the substance abuse field sooner or later the addict will hit bottom and then the motivation for change will be life changing. It can be a divorce, fired from one's job, a DWI or other legal trouble, a health crisis, kids taken away, any number of things.

    Denial is not unique to substance abusers, we all practice it at some time for some period of time until we've had enough and finally as Helen Schucman, the author of the Course, said to Bill Thetford, the scribe, "There's got to be a better way." At this point, one may have an awakening. Or one can kill oneself. Depends on a lot of things, I suppose, which way it goes,

    Linda Moore wrote in one of her short stories, The Next Life, "Despair is arrogant and pompous and God might well think it's rude." The Universe hits us long side the head with a 2 x 4 some times to get our attention not to kill us. Despair is the atomic bomb of wake-up calls indicating that our old way of life is dying, but like a Phoenix, life will raise us up again if are humble enough to wait for the resurrection of the spirit to be incarnated into something new.

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