A Unitarian Universalist was running late for his own wedding. He sped to the church and circled the parking lot three times looking for a parking spot. Frustrated, the man became religious and pleaded, "Oh God, give me a parking spot and I'll quit all my vices, to to church every Sunday, give to charity, forgive everybody, and never use you name in vain again. Please, please, I can't lose my beautiful bride!"
Just then, he noticed an open spot right in front of church. Instantly, he stopped sobbing and said, "Never mind, I found one."